Family Future Founder T-Shirts

"You thought that making love standing up guaranteed that you wouldn't become pregnant? I'm afraid that is a common misconception!"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

Girl holding money.

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

The Economy Discovers FFF!

'Go forth and multiply!'

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

'I see you meeting a man who can borrow at well below prime.'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

Evolution of Man