Family Future Founder T-Shirts

"You thought that making love standing up guaranteed that you wouldn't become pregnant? I'm afraid that is a common misconception!"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

'He's precocious.'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

Girl holding money.

'Go forth and multiply!'

'I see you meeting a man who can borrow at well below prime.'

Evolution of Man

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

'This isn't a diploma. It's a stimulus package!'