Family Festivities Pillows

"We were sad last year when we couldn't have the whole family over for the holidays, right?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Christmas Tree

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Hi-yah!"

Night of the Latkes

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Elfie Stick

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

Labor Day Flowers

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."