Family Dynamics Humorist T-Shirts

'I hunt, she gathers, and my no-good brother-in-law scavenges.'

'Not only does your mother turn up uninvited, but she nicks our broom!'

'He only stays for the sake of the children-they don't want him living with them either.'

The First In-Law of Thermodynamics.

'Let's get one for your mother.'

'Planet Earth is doomed!'

Curse of the Mummy-in-law

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"How many times have I told you kids to hang your coats in the closet?"

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

'Mummy, why did you teach me to walk?'

'Is that IT? All this way for just the ONE?'

'Hey Dad, Mom's got a new hobby...still life painting...er, Dad?'