Family Dynamic Humor Gifts

To their complete revulsion, Dan and his friends overhear too much information from Dan's mother.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

Baby cries into a cellphone.

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

Adult Absence Notes.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

Bubbies and technology

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

"Well, if you've got 'nothing to wear' why am I constantly doing laundry?"

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

'I don't like the look of yours...'

"Dad, can you just ground me instead?"

But, mom, I don't want to go to summer camp!

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

'Sorry, nothing really scares us anymore since that time we accidentally walked in on our parents...'

"The wife thinks he's at summer camp."