Family Dynamic Humor Gifts

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

Baby cries into a cellphone.

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

Adult Absence Notes.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

"Well, if you've got 'nothing to wear' why am I constantly doing laundry?"

'I don't like the look of yours...'

'Sorry, nothing really scares us anymore since that time we accidentally walked in on our parents...'

"Dad, can you just ground me instead?"

'Dad, what is a 'LOVE RAT'?'

"I'm training him to do chores."

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''