Family Dining Aficionado Prints

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"How's the salmon?"

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"You've all been like a company to me."

"For drinks or dinner?"

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."