Family Communicators Gifts

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"What do I think is an appropriate punishment? I think an appropriate punishment would be to make me live with my guilt."

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

Warring parents

"Someday, my dimwitted son, all this will belong to your sister."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

"Moses, it's your mother. It's the only way I could get hold of you. You never call."

Interpreters.

"Dear Grandma, Mom told me I should write you a letter cause you don’t have a computer or cel phone like regular people. Dad said, Old people like getting letters in the mail. All this is making me so sad. Thanks a lot Grandma! I miss you. ❤️ Sofi"

"You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. A lot of parents aren't smart enough to help their 7-year-old with their homework."

A policeman and protester in the same family.

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

"Hey, Gramps. You believe in life after death?" "Boy. At my age I'm not even sure about life after my morning BM."

"I'm sorry, 'Because I said so' is not an acceptable answer."

"Hello mother. . ."

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

"In all the years I’ve endured your presence, I have never once heard you mention your mother." "It’s almost as if you think you sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth." "When’s the last time you called your mother?" "December 2, 1992." "The day before text messaging was introduced." "Ingrate!!!"