Family Circus Fan T-Shirts

'The tides have finally turned. Our daughter is losing sleep over us.'

"Yes, mom, we're all getting plenty of exercise."

"I suppose you think that's funny."

"Really, self-taught - that's remarkable!"

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

"Support the head."

"I can't wait for things to get back to normal."

"YOU pass him on the left."

A high wire act walks over to a bottle of wine.

The relay race

Parental Training Course

"So. . . how long have people NOT been laughing at you. . . ?"

'What went particularly well?'

'Mmmm. How do you get the custard so creamy? You must give me the recipie!'

Pickles the Clown: Son of Bonzo and Gwen. A Pro to the End.

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

'That's the worst case of fleas I've ever seen...!'

The Paunch & Judy Show

'I told you Ko-ko that you don't have to even think of retirement - the phone stopped ringing for you years ago!'

"OK, OK, I believe that you were an ‘all-state gymnast at obedience school’... now please get down."

'He's got a terrific memory but dreadful eyesight.'

"Young Master downright lied to Mistress! I can smell he didn't use soap or shampoo when he took his bath!"

'It wasn't the baby's crying that kept me awake last night...it was my husband's.'

Socially Distancing Clowns

"Kids, could you do Mommy a huge favor and go really far away from me? Thanks."

Carly Simon - clowns in my coffee.

'If you painted on a smile instead of that frown you might make more balloon sales...'

'It's ironic: I was employed to beg by an organ grinder, and now, I beg because I'm unemployed...'

Performing dog

"O.K., laugh, but this is going to be my ticket out of here."

". . . and if your kids have been driving you crazy today, just remember one day soon they won't even want to know you. . . and exhale. . . ahhhh."