Family Business Navigator Pillows

"I want you to treat him just like you would anyone else whose father owns the combine."

'I've increased your salary son, but next time you want a rise come to me instead of your mother.'

'We're issuing a hostile takeover bid. I hope this doesn't affect things between us, Dad.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

Maps to all the corporate trap doors for sale here!

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'I've survived here by always maintaining my honesty, integrity, and plausible deniability.'

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

The Finding Yourself Hour.

'There's no need for you to state your opinion, son. Just lipsynching mine will do fine.'

'It's a terrific family business: We have about 53 staff-members...'

"Wet wipe?"

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

"This is a family operation, Ben, and we're evicting you from our family."

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'