Family Bonding Specialist Pillows

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

A child interrupting family prayers

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

Yoga with Baby

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"Today, son, you are a man."

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

First Steps

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"I'm with grandad now - yeah, he's fighting fit."

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

Family Feeling

"I don't know what they do with it, son. I just harvest the data."

"When I was your age the Big Dipper was over THERE."

'I know I'm your father, but I'm also your attorney and these father-son talks are considered billable hours.'

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'Hey Mom,you won't believe it but Dad caught a boot this big.'

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

Loving family

'I told Dad you painted his car!'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'We couldn't afford school pictures this year so Timmy is doing the family portraits.'

Operation Father's Day

'Yes, there are a lot of stars, Son. Not as many as there are California Chardonnays, but a lot, just the same.'

"With great power comes zero responsibility."