Family Banter Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

"Dad, just because you're old, and Chinese, doesn't make everything you say a proverb."

"I think our daughter got her brains from me."

"Your big sister's getting married tomorrow, eat your greens or it's me and you on the dance floor."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Suffering from Cooties?

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

I love my family!

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Mother's Love

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

It's a Boy

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"We're going to pay for your obedience school but after that you're on your own."

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'They're a very successful family.'

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

'He didn't learn that from me!'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'His dad was!'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

Mummy?!