Families T-Shirts

"And remember, have your parents ask their doctor if Ambulex is right for them."

"If you want to be more like Mom and Dad, kids, you've got to start pounding down those Shirley Temples."

'Sorry kids, we're downsizing to a flip-flop!'

"I guess we'd be considered a family. We're living together, we love each other, and we haven't eaten the children yet."

"Kids, your mother and I have spent so much money on health insurance this year that instead of vacation we're all going to go in for elective surgery."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

'It's a sunset, Billy. It's not selling anything.'

"No letters to Santa this year. Just tell the tree what you want."

'Someday, Mr. Nicky Copernicus, SOMEDAY you'll learn that the world doesn't revolve around YOU!'

'I'll let you in on a little secret, son: If you're really, REALLY careful, absolute power only corrupts a little bit.'

Playground by and for kids.

We're looking for a great environment to raise our kids in.

"Careful—some of our children's firearms are manufactured in plants that also process nuts and nut products."

'Don't talk on the phone with your mouth full.'

Three favourite words: Back to school.

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

Additions to the Rainbow Curriculum

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

Biker family

'I assumed he'd know to eat the cone last.'

Frank integrates the modern, poll-driven, finger-in-the-wind brand of politics into his parenting style.

"How much is that in years of tuition?"

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

"I need attention! Does anybody have any?"

"'See Spot run.' 'See Spot run?' Who wrote this crap?"

"Daddy! Daddy! American planes bombed a key rail depot near Hanoi and knocked out a power station today in a record number of strikes for the third consecutive day!"

Some Photography Tips For Your Vacation

A Family Out For A Walk In The Country.

'You just have to learn to say no.'

"If it's so good for you....couldn't it smell good too?"

La Brea Ball Pits

"I had to leave the lid off the cookie jar so my pet frog doesn't suffocate."

'No...the minimum wage does not apply to you fetching my slippers!'

Continue eating. Pay no attention to me. I'm from the food and drug administration.