Fallback Strategist Pillows

'When all else fails I could always become a careers teacher!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Fries and kids

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'I hate evolution!'

The trap

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

"I told him that I was leaving, that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork...he asked me to fill out an exit report!"

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

'Some more great camouflage of the insect world.'

When Dick quit, he walked off with the company Slushy fund!'

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

'No thank you, I'm on a diet: I've noticed that the fat ones disappear first...'

'I think it's for compliance with some Federal safety regulation.'

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Signpost for petrol in the Desert

'It isn't just you, Wally. We've all been put on the endangered species list.'

Come with me. Things are tough around here and somebody may want to eat you.

'...and why does it have to be MY shirt we use as a sail?'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

A lady wants a higher fence to protect her man from the neighbour.