Faith Skeptics Pillows

"Last night, I challenged your god to a duel. I won by default because he never showed."

"I think you've got the wrong person - I'm an atheist."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Alternative Medicine

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Crystal Ball Plug

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"