Faith Restorer Pillows

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

A child interrupting family prayers

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Chill Out Worshippers!

Saying Grace.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Holy Bible

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Please, Lord, enough already."

Church Restoration Fund.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Church: Open Sundays