Faith Philosophers Pillows

Only went to church so children could go to a good school

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

Thinking Gears

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'Confusionism'

The first 'outside the box' thinker.

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Self Checkout

Out for lunch... GOD

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his lear and wise command in Romans 13, to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes."

Priest

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

'I inherited therefore I am'

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

Soren Kierkegaard