Fairytale Twist Aficionado Gifts

'That's not quite what I meant, Rapunzel'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

A Fairytale Update

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

The Frog Prince

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"I never let my hair down on the first date."

"Your tea party numbers are way down this month Jerry."

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Rapunzcow

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

'Sure, your father was my Prince Charming...but he didn't arrive on a white horse...he was in a Red Mustang GT!'

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

Gone to lunch back in 10 mins.