Fairytale Reimaginer T-Shirts

'Deep in the woods, the children came upon the most wondrous sight.'

'And then Sleeping Beauty filed charges against him for sexual harrassment.'

Princess reads sign: 'NO fishing' NO kissing frogs'.

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

"Three pizzas: One too hot, one too cold, and one just right."

Shepherd and eurydice

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

Cygnets from Swan Lake

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

Fairytale prince and princess

Building a gingerbread house

fairy tales

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

Damsel takes blackbird pie mix from store shelf.

"I don't want to sound desperate, but either you transform me with a kiss or I end up dissected in a ninth-grade science lab."

"Woulda looked cool with a beer in his hand, though." Michelangelo's cousin, Michelobelo

"My client would like to plead 'not guilty' to all three charges of damage to private property."

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

'Wind in the Willies' - 'It's an Andrew Davies version of the old classic.'

"What if the dish and the spoon run away together?" "Not bad, Doug, not bad at all." "And a crockpot tries to lure the dish away with cash and loads of jewels!" "Come on, Rita! That's been done to death. Too derivative."

'Maybe next time. I never kiss on a first date.'

"I'm saying, sometimes your true love is the hunchback albino troll who's been by your side the whole time."

'Sorry, kid. Anything but world peace.'

Revised Texts

'You are the fairest one of all. But let's face it... you're still a dog.'

Cinderella

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

'Once upon a time, a handsome actuarial accountant caught the eye of a beautiful commodities broker...'

'Rats, even this flying carpet we bought on the internet doesn't work! We're really not meant to fly...'