Fairytale Buff Mugs

"When the evil witch pushes the children into the oven, .... that's just a metaphor for putting them in the microwave"

'I got a perm.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

Knight Golfing

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Missing You.

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

The Final Selfie

Antler Buzzers.

Knights of the Square Table.

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

"I never actually said I was spiderman...I just said that no one has ever seen us in the same room together."

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

Flying in Formation.

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'This species of fungi was last spotted in Oxford by Alice Liddell in 1862!'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"You never know what will catch on!"

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

"Listen, kid - in the real world, great power comes with no responsibility whatsoever."