Fairy Tale Fusion Fan Pillows

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"I'm your Fairy God lawyer and will grant you three Gloria Allreds."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Here be dragons.

'What clan do you belong to?'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"Well, that one got away."

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"What the hell took so long?"

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Grimm's Reality Tales.

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

Invisible clothes

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

Updated Stories. The Wicked Witch Of The West Tries A New Tactic To Get The Ruby Slippers. Security Checkpoint. Remove your shoes, please.

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'