Failed Experiment Sympathizer Pillows

"I'm not a mad scientist Igor, I'm a disappointed scientist."

"The invention of taxidermy."

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

Scientists building a tower

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

Gamma Ray Lab/Gamma Ray Shielding Materials Lab

'We've really come up with something, but nine other labs also came up with it this week.'

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

'Professor, what's the antimatter?'

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

'Well, you were the one who proposed cloning a cell from a dinosaur bone, so you figure out what we should do now.

"What are you crying about? You're the one who wins all the awards."

'Get a half-life Mrs Curie.'

'I'm on the verge of a major breakthrough, but I'm also at that point where chemistry leaves off and physics begins, so I'll have to drop the whole thing.'

"We blew a fuse."

'Sometimes I wish they'd just test vaccines on us.'

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

"Find out who set up this experiment. It seems that half of the patients were given a placebo, and the other half were given a different placebo."

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

"How am I? Same old, same old. Another day of throwing at the wall to see what sticks."

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

He wasn't a mad scientist. Then one day he read the "comments" section under his published research and snapped

'You have hypochondria... are you allergic to placebo?'

"We are currently experiencing an unusually high volume of calls and all our advisers are busy..."

'Occupy' camp at St Paul's cathedral, London.

'I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests.'

Alchemist - name and ate unknown: 'At the Transylvania Conference, everyone was claiming to have the philosopher's stone. As chair of the select committee on turning lead into gold, I expect to have conclusive report within a decade or two.'

Utter horror. Sadie has become a Youtube star. Get outta here. I shot video of her ranting about her hatred of technology and posted it on Youtube. People love it. They can't get enough. She's being treated like a celebrity. An autograph please, and can you curse my laptop? I feel so alive.

Lab test patients.

'This doesn't bother us at all. We have no-fault experiment insurance.'

"She always saw the glass as half empty, while I thought of it as half full. Now I see it as completely empty."

Ex husband buried in the vegetable patch.

"I know the way, I just act lost so I can spend less time being locked in a cage."

Woman at entrance to clairvoyant's with sign reading 'Warning: readings may contain bad news as well as good news'.

Laurel, it's Rudy. Are you busy? It's noon. I'm at work -- teaching. Of course. I'm sorry to bother you. By the way, Armstrong cut back my hours, Computer Villa has banished me, I'm bored and broke and I'm a loser. Talk to you later. Oh give me a break.