Failed Experiment Sympathizer Pillows

"I'm not a mad scientist Igor, I'm a disappointed scientist."

"The invention of taxidermy."

Scientists building a tower

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

Gamma Ray Lab/Gamma Ray Shielding Materials Lab

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

'We've really come up with something, but nine other labs also came up with it this week.'

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

'Get a half-life Mrs Curie.'

'Well, you were the one who proposed cloning a cell from a dinosaur bone, so you figure out what we should do now.

"What are you crying about? You're the one who wins all the awards."

'I'm on the verge of a major breakthrough, but I'm also at that point where chemistry leaves off and physics begins, so I'll have to drop the whole thing.'

"Find out who set up this experiment. It seems that half of the patients were given a placebo, and the other half were given a different placebo."

"We blew a fuse."

'Sometimes I wish they'd just test vaccines on us.'

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

"How am I? Same old, same old. Another day of throwing at the wall to see what sticks."

'You have hypochondria... are you allergic to placebo?'

Alchemist - name and ate unknown: 'At the Transylvania Conference, everyone was claiming to have the philosopher's stone. As chair of the select committee on turning lead into gold, I expect to have conclusive report within a decade or two.'

"We are currently experiencing an unusually high volume of calls and all our advisers are busy..."

'Occupy' camp at St Paul's cathedral, London.

'I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests.'

'This doesn't bother us at all. We have no-fault experiment insurance.'

"She always saw the glass as half empty, while I thought of it as half full. Now I see it as completely empty."

Lab test patients.

Ex husband buried in the vegetable patch.

"I know the way, I just act lost so I can spend less time being locked in a cage."

Woman at entrance to clairvoyant's with sign reading 'Warning: readings may contain bad news as well as good news'.

'This will teach you to not use your computer in the tub. You can search for cars online after you get out.'