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"I'll settle for the soul patch."

The Beard Movement

'Been here awhile?'

"She admired my goatee, so I admired her mustache."

"Forget Movember, I'm doing Maovember."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

Movember

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

30 Days Has Movember

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"In an effort to be more transparent, I've grown back my evil goatee."

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

'You've taken that handlebar mustache too far.'

Clock Tower Shadow

'Having trouble with the shaver?'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Two men discussing thier moustaches

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'What magnificent whiskers My wife would never let me grow anything like THAT'

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'