Face Fixer T-Shirts

"Remember girls - these are evil and must be punished!!"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Waiting for Pants

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

"That's not the real me."

"I had to improvise"

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

'My neighbor hates to fix fence...'

The first sign of cowboy trouble.

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

Home/work masks.

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Stitches.

Despite being dumped by his girlfriend on Christmas Eve, Norman still found a way to pull the crackers despite her absence.

'Ah - you must be the Polish plumber.'

"You gotta admit, it's straight now."