Eye Surgery Recovery Pillows

"I don't need the glasses, I had 3D laser eye surgery."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

En garde!

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

EAR, NOSE AND THROAT CLINIC: "You want me to drive?"

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'