Extravagant Parents Gifts

Typically nouveau-riche - they've bought the house next door as their kids' Wendy House!

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Baroque Peacock

'The kids were so sweet...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

Children's Nursery

'Just look at him- a fool and his money are soon partying!'

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

'Mom can I have another apple?'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'Monster mobiles.'

"Everything I do I do with panache. I even say panache with panache."

"I opted for the upgrades."

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"Sweet dreams, Tim." "Mort Feldstein: Loving father and professional clown."

"Yes, our drinks are very expensive, but that includes your cab fare home."

He knows a few words, but he doesn't stay on message.

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

Take your Daughter to Word Day

'You're spoiling that dog!'

Stuff You Do In Pre-natel Class.

'We're running combat maneuvers on our 3 year old?'

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

It's so frustrating! They always stop acting evil the minute you start recording.

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

'Sometimes I think I spoil this dog'

"I have a taste for luxury."

"You BOTH have the asshole gene?"

"She's a natural!"

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'