Extraterrestrial Humorist T-Shirts

'From Earth? -- You're not that Geraldo guy, are you?'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"Johnson, we'd better get the gun! I think there might be some really big rabbits living here!"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Clown God

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

Mars Rover

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'