Extracurricular Activities Gifts

I drive, therefore I am.

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Being homeschooled wasn't so bad except for the homemade cheerleading outfits."

'I think we're in danger of over-parenting.'

'Between football, basketball, and track, out moms do more running around than we do.'

"I don’t have any lines, but I do some pretty important rustling in the second act."

Your counselor wants you to concentrate on one sport. Ok. Sports Camp. Which do you like best? Maybe baseball. Great. Or soccer or lacrosse. I'm proud of you, Teddy! You don't care about being the cool sports star! Ok. Then soccer.

What's with all the cameras? They're filming seniors for college field hockey recruiters. I'll never be good enough to get admitted. It's just a game. In the real world. No one cared you even played. Then why do they make us do sports? To take your mind off all the college pressure!

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

We need an eco project that actually changes things. Ha! Good luck. Eco-club. Hey! We cut the school's use of plastic bottles 50% from last fall. Ahem. This year I feel 50% guiltier.

What issue do we want to tackle this year? There are so many options. Oil spill. Natural gas fracking. Clean coal. Eco-club. Those are kind of global. How could we tell if our work made a difference? It's obvious. If we list it on our college applications and then get accepted.

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

Your mother and I don't think the weekend lacrosse league is a good idea, Teddy. Why not? Too much driving. But I ride the school bus home from practice all week! Exactly! Our favorite mass transit vehicle! I can't wait to get my license!

Your "debate club" is just a shoutfest. I'm outta here! Pleease? We really need you. Why? You've got lots of members. But you have a, umm, distinctive voice. That's nice, but

You conservative dunce! You socialist ignoramus. Blue. Debate club. Red. Dittohead! Liberal fruitcake! Time's up! The winner of this school's tv talk show style debate is team red! Is that a cell phone? No. Decibel meter. Ungha! Ungha!! Ungh!!!

Shriek! Scream! Yell louder. Bellow! More rage, please. Debate club?! Yeah. They switched to a cable tv talk show format.

Field hockey injury? A doctor will see you after the football concussion

Always keep your eyes on the ball, Tigers!! Why? I never get to play. Crack. Whack! Any other questions? Will this get me out of practice?

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

Just go play on whichever one you like. I'm sure the choice won't affect your college applications.

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

Remote control pirate bully

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

A Good Batch.

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"No no, I said sit!!"