Extinction Analyzer Prints

You heard earth's just entered its sixth great extinction event? Really? Vertebrate species are dying at a rate not seen since the dinosaurs died off. This time It's thanks to us. But the good thing is, scientists think humans will die off pretty early in this mass extinction. How's that a good thing? We won't be around to hear the other animals say "I told you so."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

65 Million Years Ago

"I shop, therefore I am."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

Always Compatible

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'Good grief! Aren't you guys extinct yet?'

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"If it's all random, why are you always here?"

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

"Frankly, I don't like the way things are going."

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"

'Oh, come on -- everything can't be extinct!'

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'

Bio-obsolescence

'I blog, therefore I am.'

'Any history of extinction in your family?'

'It looks like our time is up.'

The Last Mosquito

"Just you wait!"

Friday/Saturday/Sunday

"You B******s! How many dinosaurs did you murder to get all those bones?!? NO wonder they went extinct!"

Coldsaurus

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'