Exterior Decorator Pillows

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Painting the Ceiling

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Too bright."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Baby squirrel & Berries

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

Face Painting.

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Can you believe Jim made all the furniture out of old rubbish?"

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'Quick, press control Z!'

Reindeer

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Redecorating Easter Island.

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"