Exterior Decorating T-Shirts

"I like your garden humans"

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Christmas Tree

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Painting the Ceiling

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Piranhaclaus

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Happy Easter

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Cat statues on entrance gate

Labor Day Flowers

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Candle Portraits.