Exterior Decorating T-Shirts

"I like your garden humans"

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Christmas Tree

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Painting the Ceiling

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Piranhaclaus

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Happy Easter

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Labor Day Flowers

Frosting the Snowman

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."