Expressionless Strategist T-Shirts

"Just give me enough so that no one can read my expression at the big poker game tonight."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'It's a silent protest.'

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

"We're making progress."

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"It would keep me awake all night, but I'm up for a game of coffee pong first thing in the morning."

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

Model Stealth Bomber.

"I don't even like toys. I just do this so people won't talk to me."

"Wel...come...to...my...zoom...meet...ing..."

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."

"Daddy's going of to defeat terrorism in subtler, economic ways."

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

'If you can keep your head while all about are losing theirs...'

'Are you sure this is the best strategy to find new customers?'

Think: Everyone's out to get me.

312 - Eat A Lot On The First Date

"I thought I knew evil, but you have to hand it to these advertising guys."

"...The sun sank slowly in the west. Time slowed down to a crawl, and there was no reason to hurry. The tortoise knew he had time to kill. Haste makes waste, he thought..."