Explorer Of The Macabre T-Shirts

"The brochure said your tour is to die for."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Out To Lurch

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

The Lost World: You are Here

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

EU: Behind the scenes.

'Hang on a minute...'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'Isn't it sublime, Janet? The original Dali Llama.'

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia. That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on Earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries. That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages. What was your conception of the Middle Ages? Well... it was... well, knights, maidens, dragons... mostly dragons. And elves."

Yonder

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'Repossessed? No, I said it was possessed.'

"Wow, souls seem a lot heavier lately"

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

Colay's glass bottom boat tours!

Poetry reading nightly

Don Giovanni

Marcel Duchamp caricature

"...He appears to have stepped away from his body."

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

Wine...Spirits...

'Whatever it is you're doing down there, Malcolm, I think it's affecting the television.'

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

'It means, like, stop filming...'

"No. Have to say we don't get many tourists around here!"

A boast of ghosts

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

Khan Hunt

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'