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Two hundred years before Newton, Columbus discovers gravity in the New World.

Elizabeth I says: 'You've named one of the American colonies after me? I can't wait to visit Betty!'

Scott finds Amundsen got to Pole first and cries

'Instead of looking for the Fountain of Youth, we should look for the Fountain of Age so we can take advantage of senior citizen discounts that are rampant in the New World.'

Columbus claims the New World

'Why? Because it's there and I always want to cross it!'

'I know all about acclimatizing yourself for a high altitude climb, but I want to get the dinner out of the freezer!'

An astronaut lands on the moon to find that his lunar module has landed by a parking meter.

Early Space Blunders

'I don't think this is it either, Ponce.'

Walter Raleigh

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

A Classic Goldfish Game.

Archaeology department

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

The only way to see the world is to see the world

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Now here's a place I like!'

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

Why Cows Leave Home

Never.....teach your dog to fly.

'Must be the lesser known Easter Egg Island.'

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'