Experiencing A Breakup T-Shirts

"It's nothing personal. I just enjoyed your online presence better."

Speed Dating for Turtles

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Large Emoticon Collider

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

"Sorry Frank, but I can no longer go on with this charade. Not only am I not your best friend, I'm not even sure if I like you at all."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"You've got to learn to let go."

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

A woman buries her broken heart

"I think we should each try other beers."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

"Smiley, where will we be in 10 years?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

The final all-toast supper at apartment 5-B

"I need a hug."

Boyfriend Shirt.

'Right now I'm on a 'man diet'. No more boyfriends until I lose twenty pounds.'

"This time, she went too far."

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

"You came back!"

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

"I'm a dish, not a bowl. This was never going to work."

"I'm leaving and I'm taking your iTunes with me."

"You lying fink! Your dating profile specifically stated you were a non smoker!!"

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"