Expectation Vs Reality Tendsetter T-Shirts

"What's this? I thought you said we were going on a 'tour of alcohol'!"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Bad hair day!

La Table

'She's so put together!'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Men's business romper.

"This is daring, but I like it."

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Keeping warm.

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Rap music

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

A Macaroni in 1772

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."