Expectation Vs Reality Tendsetter T-Shirts

"What's this? I thought you said we were going on a 'tour of alcohol'!"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Bad hair day!

La Table

'She's so put together!'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

"This is daring, but I like it."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Men's business romper.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

A Macaroni in 1772

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Keeping warm.

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

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