Expectation Evaluator T-Shirts

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"It looked better on pinterest."

"It looked different on the internet."

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"The idea at 3 am. The idea at 7 am."

"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

"It looked better when I saw it on Instagram."

'Well, what did you expect?'

Sex Score

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

"Has it been in your family long?"

"Run to the store and buy me a tub of ketchup!"

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

The Next Big Thing/ The Next Best Thing.

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

'Another stupid ball of string. I was hoping for a tablet."

How would you like to work part-time, Benson?

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

Why Do We Always Want Something Better For Our Children Than What We Had For Ourselves?