Expectant Brother Pillows

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cry babies.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"It's a dependent!"

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

The (literal) birth of Venus.

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

'Sometimes I think you'll be sorry when the baby gets here.'

"The midwife was busy, so we called in the mid-husband."

"I like it; but let's make sure we can get the domain name first."

"Good news. Your mother is pregnant, so, we won't be mortgaging your future."

She Had Enough To Drink.

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"That's my baby brother? Then why'd you eat him?"

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

'His vocabulary is tiny, but effective.'

'This is probably the only time I'll be chauffeur driven and I can't even look out the window!'

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'