Expatriate Dreamer Gifts

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

What else is there to wish for?

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

The world's most unemployable family

The Ukraine, Europe and Fascism.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

The Idea of America.

Anywhere but here

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

DACA

21st century fish, evolving or mutant?

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

Emigrating to France.

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."

"Great money scenes!"

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

"It's lonely at the top...But it beats being depressed at the bottom."

Rebel without a cause. Poet without a war.

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

Inbox and Outbox

'Pity you never have learned to sail...'

On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: the constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends Undergarments.

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."