Exercise Multitasker Pillows

"It looks like the only time I can fitness walk is at 7 pm...when my favorite telenovela starts..."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hassled Mother.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

Soccer kids texting

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Homeschooling

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

Having It All

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

"What?!"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

Executives exercising

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'