Exercise Multitasker Pillows

"It looks like the only time I can fitness walk is at 7 pm...when my favorite telenovela starts..."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hassled Mother.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

Soccer kids texting

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Homeschooling

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

Having It All

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

"What?!"

The Swiss Arm-y Wife

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'