Exercise Equipment Critic T-Shirts

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Exercising

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"I hate this time of year."

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

'Would you mind terribly taking up some other sport besides long-distance running?'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"Thank goodness you only bought him dumbbells."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

''Buy low, sell high' is not considered an aerobic activity.'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

"Exercise?...What you need is more napping!"

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

You're stuck in a lousy health club membership, too?

'Touch my toes? -- I have servants for that sort of thing!'

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

When I said you were Ripped, Bob, I didn't mean your muscles.

"I got you a larger, heavier jump rope. It will give you a more-intensive workout."

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

"Wow, all the way from the couch. Have the endorphins kicked in?"

'He's tagging exercicse equipment to study its migratory patterns as it travels from lawn sale to lawn sale.'

Treadmill prototype

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.