Executive Under Fire T-Shirts

'Duck and cover won't protect you in this stockholders meeting.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Cat Boss

"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."

"Thursday makes it ten years. What do you say we renew our merger vows."

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"We're making progress."

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

"I've gotten plenty of table scraps but no one has ever given me money under the table."

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

'We'll wait until the ex-ceo's cigar smoke clears before beginning.'

"I'm under stress, Miss Gibson. Come in and bite my nails."

"Damn it, Bershire, I've told you to never call me when I'm in my executive ball pit!"

"We can't offer you a golden parachute, however we do offer a very attractive escape hatch."

'Well, Higgins, today it's on you to do the most dangerous job here. You've got to feed the board of directors!'

"Why should I feel small? I've just been put in charge of the whole Eastern region."

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

'Last week I offered to bring Bixby into the decision-making process, and he's still dithering about it!'

"We're very sorry, Templeton."

"A fellow human being to see Mr. Driscoll."

'But RG, you can't be a big fish in all the big ponds...you can only be a big fish in your big pond.'

'The company has got a long term strategy. Let our successors in a few years clean up the mess we bring about today.'

'I'm giving myself a 30% increase this year. Please work out how many redundancies we need to cover it.'

'As you may know, I'll retire in a few weeks but you better not think that I'm a lame duck now!'

"If that's all the smug self-congratulations we have for today, we'll move right into our next agenda item: gratuitous glad-handing!"

VP in charge of computer manuals.

'You're nobody until somebody loathes you.'

'That's why we're vice-presidents, and he's president.'

"Business! Business! Business!"

"These are of all my affiliates."