Executive Strategist T-Shirts

'Now that we've down-sized all we can, I think it's time we up-sized our compensation.'

'Don't worry, I've got your back.'

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

'He can be kind of explosive.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

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'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'