Executive Prankster Pillows

We're a paperless office, except for executive bonuses.

"Thursday makes it ten years. What do you say we renew our merger vows."

'We'll wait until the ex-ceo's cigar smoke clears before beginning.'

'Well, Higgins, today it's on you to do the most dangerous job here. You've got to feed the board of directors!'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Bo're'droom

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Here and There Trays

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

'I hope you replace your divots.'

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Everybody gets a raise."

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

'Cancel his redundancy cheque then phone for an ambulance'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'