Executive Environment Satirist Pillows

That's the chairman's office.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

Water company bonus.

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

'I appreciate recognition...but pats on the head are demeaning.'

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"You bring up an important concern, but I'm looking for a problem that better fits my preconceived solution."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

'I was like you once Pearson. Efficient, forward leaning and with a clear strategic vision. Then I made senior management.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."

'I want to thank you for your spontaneous and overwhelming support...'

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

"Hold the confetti, sir, he's not retiring, you're letting him go."

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

Hand puppet company boss uses puppet to tell employee: 'You're fired!'

"I'm Action Plan Man. Good luck finding someone to impliment it."