Exclusive Entry Lover Mugs

Dinosaur Extinction, If your name's not down...

La Table

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Do you have anywhere our friends won't have discovered?"

Members only.

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

One-Up-Manship Valentine's Day

I shall now unveil my first great experiment in exploitative capitalism. Oh joy. Institute for Capitalist Exploitation. Beneath this sheet is an extraordinary creation. I give you … The new cafe exclusive VIP premier executive best customer reward card. Available to anyone who pays $9.95 a month for membership. Fine print: Includes no benefits.

This club is for members only

"You. You. And you."

Please wait to be vetted

'Sorry, this is the Billionaires club. The Millionaires club is down the street.'

Posh store has sign: When Flaunting Is Not Enough.

"I can't wait to get to school! I love the joy of meeting a challenge, of reaching my goals and then over-achieving! What could be better than that?"

Reserved

"Do you have a reservation?"

"It costs how much to join?"

Millionaires club: "The bad news is, this recession has forced us to recruit lottery winners!"

"This is a private club. Are you a Mamba ?"

'Hey! This club is for members only!'

Garrick club. Men's men only.

Club Heaven.

"Welcome to the club. Not my club, mind you - you couldn't afford that."

'Order 50,000 gift bags. We're gonna do Beverly Hills!'

Social Exclusive Unit.

"We're competitive in all the sports the middle class schools can't afford."

"Tia Carmen, can I join your Wise Latina League?"

"I'm afraid you have the common cold lady for choir. We don't have anything more exclusive."

"I often mistake a twenty pound note for a membership card."

"Now you tell me I'm the only member?"

"Hole In The Wall" (members only.) ? ?

Hello?

"Your request to join is being reviewed by the group moderator!"

Good news, I can make you a member of our waiting list!

"So long, Bill. This is my club. You can't come in."