Excessive Order Sympathizer Gifts

"I'm the bad guy..."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

Sauron's Sore Eye

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

The hardest instrument to play second fiddle.

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"Anything in there about when the hair stylists' strike will end?"

'I'm happy to say that both parties agree on the issue. It's got bi-partisan non-support.'

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

Close encounter.

"Damn it, I still haven't got you right! Let's try again."

"What happened, honey? Was your team defeated again?"

"Look, honey! All your lost eye glasses have mysteriously migrated to this drawer, and now they're plotting their next escape."

He's a rebel without a cause.

'Occupy' camp at St Paul's cathedral, London.

"Brian says in 1976 we just got on with it."

"You rang. . . ?"

"He still won't eat? Bah! Him and his hunger strike. He will soon learn that I am a very patient man."

'What do you have for the recently subpoenaed?'

Ex husband buried in the vegetable patch.

"Well, they always say it's the thought that counts!"

'I know you can't win them all, but just once I wish I could scrape together the entry fee!'

"He's just not fitting in here."

"Nevermind how fast I was going – you made me spill my cereal!!"

'I think we should just be friends.'