Ex-relationship Stories Aficionado Gifts

Ex-wife day at the ball park!

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

Jacques et Jille

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

'We're finally in - but how will we get out?'

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

Fake Counterfeit Money

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'