Evening Sojourner Gifts

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"Yeah, well, we've all got baggage."

The Scenic Route

'I'll need to see some ID.'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

'I'm good. How are you?'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

Vast Wasteland Ahead

Man's brain with fishing rod in it from the TV

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

"Forget it - I've tried it before, and cats can't be enlightened."

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

Moses Lost in the Desert....Year 40

"Wait a minute. Isn't tonight the water conservation rally?"

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"Mostly been praising Krishna a lot."

'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'

Flight attendant looking out a lighted window.

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

Priests on plane - "We must be near head office."

The Vicar in Customs

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."

'Why didn't you take the elevator?'

Hell/Paradise