Evening Sojourner Gifts

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

'I'll need to see some ID.'

The Scenic Route

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'I'm good. How are you?'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

Vast Wasteland Ahead

Man's brain with fishing rod in it from the TV

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"Forget it - I've tried it before, and cats can't be enlightened."

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

"Wait a minute. Isn't tonight the water conservation rally?"

'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'

"Mostly been praising Krishna a lot."

Flight attendant looking out a lighted window.

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

Priests on plane - "We must be near head office."

The Vicar in Customs

'Why didn't you take the elevator?'

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."

"The black flies go away when the mosquitoes show up."

Hell/Paradise