Evaluating Investments T-Shirts

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

In the Guru District

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Build Your Own Portfolio

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Sub-prime Bear

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"