Euroskeptic Humorist Gifts

British rats flea the sinking EU

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Trickledown economics

Office of economic forecasting.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'We buy and sell them.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

Angst - Zeitgeist.

Government Handouts.

Grexit

"I've switched from talking to myself to talking at myself."

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."