Euroskeptic Humorist Gifts

British rats flea the sinking EU

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Trickledown economics

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Office of economic forecasting.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

'We buy and sell them.'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

Government Handouts.

Angst - Zeitgeist.

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

"I've switched from talking to myself to talking at myself."

Grexit

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'