Euphemism Enthusiasts Pillows

Howdy dowdy? My doody's just fine, as you can see...

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Reading my Critics

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"They're comfortable."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"She wishes to range free!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

How Amazon was invented

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Henrik Ibsen,

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."